Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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