I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
