3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I smell stomach acid.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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