I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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