Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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