i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
