Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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