You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
The uberlube is also flammable
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
