What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
