I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
