the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
