it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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