And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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