I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
