I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
