come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
