I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
