Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
NoShamevember. You game?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
