Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
