I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
