So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
