belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
