Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
