Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
