508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
