At least make sure they are 18
Why
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
her vagine was all disorganized.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
