3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Randomize
