P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
