oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Boobs speak an international language.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
