Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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