She is in my trunk
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I got inside last night via doggy door
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
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