what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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