We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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