if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Randomize
