she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
