im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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