Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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