they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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