She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
