My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
