ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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