get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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