His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
