She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
