dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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