Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
