how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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