im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
everyone is single if you try hard enough
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
