Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
