great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
