uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
vagina is talking i cant
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
