I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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